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Saturday, December 31, 2005

4:39 PM

Pre New Year Thoughts

Its around 5 hours before the begining of a new year. NEW YEAR!! Im so glad that this year has finally ended. I love the feeling of "Moving On" and im looking forward to making the new year even more fruitful and prosperous than this year!!

Lately loittered into an aquarium store. I have always wished for a mini aquarium of sea water fishes to be put in my room becoz i love the feeling of tranquility, peace and relaxation which dispells stress at the sight of swimming fishes. A slight disappointment dimmed my eyes as reality hit me. Currently, im not staying at my own hse, with my own room. As comfy as it may be, it is still NOT my hse, NOT my room. Therefore i cant put my aquarium. Though ah bee wanted to do a mini "makeover" of his room so that to squeeze out space for me...but nahz...not very good lah....wait the mother...=X...if only we got our own hse. Sigh.

I think right now, that's the number 1 top wish in my wishlist. Hmm no...put that number 2....Car is the first priority. I know very well its a heavy burden but i really need it very much for my work...cab fare not cheap okie....if raining lagi worse. Really must be more hardworking to attending lessons to get the damnz license liaoz.


Entry to be continued.........



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Signed off by Kaori @ 4:39 PM.. |

Tuesday, December 27, 2005

1:25 AM

Reminders of Unwelcomed Memories

Songs and scents are such piercing, clear and acute reminders of people, events and state of emotions. I used to buy CDs and Music Vcds. With my poor memory and lousy conception of time, its impossible to remember when i buy them. But im always amazed with the clarity my mind replays the events which took place during the time when i bought it and repeating it all day long in my player. Till this day, almost each and every different CD or Music Vcds still conveys a different story, different events which took place year by year.

One of Kelly's CD reminds me of my orientation days in poly
One of Sammi's CD reminds me of my secondary days crush with my teacher
Etc etc

You know, even the emotions replayed back so clearly.
I can almost feel exactly as i did back then, as if thrown back time.

Sometimes, lyrics of some songs also can remind me of the similarity of wat i experienced or wat i preached or feel.

Scents. The most powerful of all. Every now and then, when some familiar scents enter my nostrils, they will remind me of some of my frens or bf's who wore them before. Not becoz they're always on my mind, but becoz scents are such powerful stimulants of your memory. Maybe the "beep" sound of ur Msn, Or the msg tone of your old handfone.

Isnt that irritating?

Its great if they bring back sweet and wonderful memories.

But i really don like it when they rang unwelcomed and unpleasant memories from the past.

It dulls my mood and dims my eyes for a straight 3 seconds before i pushed them away forcibly into that remote part of the brain.

You guys experienced that too? Please tell me that this is normal and relates to everyone of you.

I hate to believe that the problem lies with me.




Labels:



Signed off by Kaori @ 1:25 AM.. |

Sunday, December 25, 2005

8:55 PM

My Xmas Eve

Xmas is so much fun!!

Holiday is just different. The feeling is simply different. Do you not feel the crackle of joy in the air? *pleased*

Had a wonderful eve with my colleagues at Marina COuntry club. Our heavenlyyyyy ANgles & Mortals Meet. Hoho!! The game of angel and mortal around mid nov i think and lasted till the eve. Though most of the "angels" "started work" only around mid Dec becoz most of us are so busy with sales! Everyone is an angel who has a mortal to care for while at the same time, there is another angel who will care for you. Meaning, you can be someone else's angel as well as someone else's mortal.

Eileen and Natasha were the organizers. The meet was held at upper storey of Mathilda Bay restaurant at Marina country club. A spiral staircase leading to it propelled the anticipation of wat we're going to see. At the end of which, we were greeted by out holy angels Eillen and Natasha who were finely dressed with a pair of fluffy, pure white wings! They look so refreshing and angelic, blending perfectly with the decor of the whole setting, country-styled wooden furnitures, littered with white wools which lend a snowy atmosphere.

Sincere efforts could be seen by the elaborate spread of sumptuous turkey, honey baked ham, chicken wings, sandwiches, logcake, tarts and pastries, fruits, softdrinks, soup, fruits, wine etc...i should say nothin was being left out! Damnz...thinking of it makes me salivates...oh well..Besides the care, concern, encouragement and little gifts secretly given by the angels, each and every one of us were to set a goal which we wanted to achieve so that your angels could motivate you. Forfeits set by yourself were to be performed if you don meet your goals while failure to reach will land yourself in your own designed predicament, i.e, you have to perform the forfeits yourself. Haha.

Each of us were given 3 choices to guess who are our angels. Of coz, if you guessed wrongly, oso have to be punished! Hmm....the 2 Holy Angels are kinda evil hurr....hahaha. Keke Heng i guessed correctly. Its so obvioussss.......Weijie lorrrr. So many people asked me how i knew it. Repeated my reply umpteen times siah.

1) Received my first gift from my angel only after ard 1mth since the commencement of the game! Though im not the only who was treated so shabbily by my angel, i deduce my angel of either being 1 of excellent dilligence, or else, he or she, simply don like me enough or not familar with me in the office. I would say my EQ is not that bad bahhhhhhh.......

2) My first gift! A bottle of honey! Haha Attached with a note which says "Manuka honey is good for ulcers...etc etc...take care!" It seems the whole office know i have the problem of swollen lips that time round though few know its not really ulcers but coldsore. Nevertheless, it proves 1 thing. This guy(the handwritting is obviously a guy) is quite close to me and is caring enough to give something which I obviously appreciates, rather than frivolous sweets la..stickers la...as most others has received. NOT, that i mean sweets and stickers are NO GOOD, but, they seemed more like the things you would give to a not-so-well-acquainted colleague.

Deduction: A dilligent guy at work who obviously understands me well enough to give me something to improve my "ulcers"...must be Weijie le. Becoz in my own team, he is the only guy. Haha

And i achieved my goal. He has to act like a sissy. Muahahhaa His mortal never reach his goal, he has to act like a chicken again. Wahahah damnz farni. Seeing most of them performing the forfeit. Wah lauzzzzzz henggggggggggg ahhhhhhhhhh I need not perform forfeit for my mortal Michael. Pole Dancing leh!!! Wah lauzzz i wont know how to face the others in office in future if i kanna that forfeit lor!!

Had so much luffs. Those forfeits included acting like..

1) Sadako
2) Chicken
3) Pole dancing
4) Perveted Psycho
5) Michael Jackson "mirror" dance
6) Break dance
7) Dance cha cha
8) orang utan
9) monkey
10) hop like kangeroo
11) apply toothpaste on face
12) MVP model
13) sissy

etc..cant remember the others. They sounds silly yeah, but its a helluva fun and laughter!

After the meet, dearie come fetch me with totally no idea where we're going. PengZ. And we failed to book BakerzIn which wat i initally preferred becoz only reservation of 4 pax at 7pm is allowed. Damnz. Jack's Place is fully booked too. So we just went PS to see got anything to grab, though i wasnt hungry at all...how can i be hungry when they's so much good food at the meet?! Settled for a simple dinner at Pastamania, after which we went for "King Kong". Rain said its nice so i suggested. 3rd row lor. 3hrs lor. My neck almost broken!

Movie title: King Kong
Ratings: 5/5
Comments: Superd show to be across the screen in ages! I admit the plot is kinda far-stretched where Ann(Naomi Watts) fell deeply in love with Kingkong, but let's just appreciate the scriptwritter's efforts on creating a totally out-of-the-ordinary introduction, where a movie-maniac director conned his actors/actresses, scriptwritter and cabin crew aboard a ship to film his damnz movie after being fired by his boss AND THEN ending with high note that King Kong was actually transported to the city, subsequently creating chaos when he tried to search for the beauty, Ann. Nevertheless, he show is simply captivating and spell-bounding. My eyes were glued to the screen for the entire 3hours. Thrilling, romantic, its simply worth the money. Excellant graphic and digital effects too. *thumbs up*

Speaking of which, after the show on the way home, i was lamenting about how unrealistic the show is. Yeah i know its only a movie...but i always like to ask this question..."if you are ....then wat will you do?" Keke I mean, even to assume that Ann is really so in love with a beast, its impossible she can make the whole city accepting the presense of such a gigantic wild beat which has a formidable temper. And it wouldnt do even if she willingly went to that mad-natives island to stay with him becoz King kong has to protect her all the time from all the other beasts, and wat can she eat?

I reckoned the most perfect solution is to SHRINK him down into a pocket size dummy so that she can keep him as a pet in her hse without anyone knowing. Lol. IDEA RIGHThhhh...............

Sad la the story.......but not so much to invite tears bah.... I got a shock when i tossed a look to my left where a girl of a couple was sitting. To my horror, she was weeping like wat we usually described as heartbroken, grieving sobbing, punctuated with frequent deep inhales of air. Ay..then the bf was passing her tissues repeatedly to stop her flowing tears and tossing me a laughing look when he saw the shrieked expression on my face.

I cried alot at movies too, which is why i always shunned sad shows. Maybe it just din move my chord with the king kong's and ann's love. Its tooOo...tooO...erm....unbelievable. Tell me, would you willingly transform yourself into a dog and then lived happily ever after with ur very brave pet dog when it rescued you from the clutches of a murderer? ANyway, if you really do, i have no comments, but its more of gratitude than love bah.


Movie Title: The Promise
Ratings: 3/5
Comments: The 3 points is all for the digital effects. The plot SUCKS! And its super contradicting. Every dialouge, every scene contradicted with its previous. Does the script writter suffers short-term memory loss like me? Even me, who suffered STM can remembered his mistakes lor.

Woowoo.going for mahjiong later, meeting with buddies jy, eve and jeff which i haven seen for a long time. Hj cant make it, sigh. Maybe we'll mit again tmr oso. See how.

Dearie made my fave omelette for me to eat today. Thinking of it makes me hungry again. Sigh...how to slim down you tell me?



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Signed off by Kaori @ 8:55 PM.. |

Thursday, December 22, 2005

2:12 AM

Check check check

hMm.

Im supposed to do some work de.

WHy am i here?

Hmm.....anyway...........XMAS IS COMING!!! *change topic till abit too 明显 huh..haha*

Ah ya..actually did not buy much things for this Xmas. Partly becoz so busy with work that i usually like to laze my weekends away, partly becoz even if i was out shopping...i was even too lazy to try out some outfits. Cant imagine i've become SO LAZY!

I don mind queuing for my fave SKIPPY Cheese Sausage(at fareast, beside Shihlin) though!

Cham lah.. then it seems nothin interests me anymore.

Last time i can go..."wOw...this eyeshawdow colour is so niceeeee.........this top is so uniqueeeeee......blabla...". Nowadays, even darling asked me to pick something out of those jewellery shops oso cant stir my interest, as cheap as they can be after 50% off. Im just not interested. Yeah some are nice...but not so nice till they cause an URGE to buy..i love buying things..and the positive aftermath...the thrill and excitement which still lingers after i bought them home, until the next time i wore them.

The last time this feeling tingles....was when i bought my new shoes i think. Im pretty obsessive with shoes. Heh~ Probably becoz my feet are the prettiest part of my whole body bah. Wahahaha.

Darling is out, meeting his NTU classmates. He simply flew out of the door after mumbling something straight after the serial show on SCV we're watching ended.

His action made me wonder..do i look like a ghost who will clingggggggggggggg to him to his meeting or either that he's just been released from a 20year jail sentence at Changi?

*rOllz eyes*

I must have scared him after my coffee session with Ser last nite.

Basically we're toking about guys lah, wat else. Mostly, about her guy. And some about my guy.

They're as different as night and day.

I was very curious how she got to uncover the dirty truth.

It was sOoO......mahciam movie like that.

I've turned smarter after her enlightenment. *laugh scarily.....*


That nite upon reaching home.

*look at ah bee with menacing eyes*

"where your handfone?!" I demanded, "Spot check!", i snarled. "Ser taught me some tricks to spotcheck you all heartless guys, 我不会再给你们骗了!!" I nodded to myself.

"huh...there lor on the bed..check lor.." he answered, most probably thinking i have taken leave of my senses.


*sniff sniff his neck, sniff sniff his top*


"wat u did just now? TOk to whO?" Questions followed like a whip.


I think he chua tiO.


Muahahahahahha


Ah bee: What happen to my dear????!!! My dear is gone!! Where did Ser abducted her to??!!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Me: 少说废话!!快点!!脱光光在床上让我CHECK!! 我要CHECK!!

AH Bee: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!





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Signed off by Kaori @ 2:12 AM.. |

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

1:00 PM

最花男人心,最毒妇人心

Ok lah….i admit the previous entry is all an accident loh…BUT!! I wouldn’t have incurr those searing pain and hideous scratches if he wasn’t so defensive!!

Still his fault.

Blearhhhh~~~

I guessed he must be guilty.

That’s why he’s preparing donno-wat-pasta for me as breakfast now as amendments,

Hmm =)

My dear is so sweet.

But no leh...don think he's the kind who will feel guilty. lol* He must be "你自己撞上来的"...right dear?

And he looked so *wahahaha* holding the piece of big wooden spoon(or wateva u call it) cooking ever so vigorously. Machiam warring like that. Muahahaha =P


Loved the serial starring 蔡少芬 and 黄子华 in 栋笃神探. Can watch again and again(skipping the sad ending) becoz its so entertaining and farni!! I know the detective plots weren’t anything exciting, they are soOoOoo predictable…I knowwww……….but the adorable pair covers every negative in the show!! I can luff non-stop watching it and make me chirpy and cheerful. Ser and G should go watch it! In Cantonese better, more hilarious.

There was this story(many detective stories in the show) which talked about a rich man marrying a geeky, fragile and very 贤妻良母 kinda ger, who either is so dumb not to know or that act blur that she wasn’t aware of his philanderings. So much so he wouldn’t even leave his wife’s classmate(starring蔡少芬) alone. Of coz lah she’s such a beauty..if only i…… =X

Okie it goes on to say 蔡少芬, being her forthright, righteous(almost too righteous) and straightforward person told the wife about his husband’s acts when he tried to get afresh with her during the sale of her insurance policies.

Husband: 是啊!我就是喜欢搞你的朋友阿!你没姐姐妹妹,要不然我连他们一起搞。
受不了阿?去死lor!不过要死就死远点阿!

Wife: 好!那我就跟你一起死!

The wife totally lost control and caused the accident when her husband is driving.

Husband died, She survived, inheriting a mass of fortune from her deceased husband’s policy. But she sunk into depression, being heartbroken of her husband’s death.


*snorted* This kind of guy..exists! Of coz!

This kind of ger…exists too! Sigh…………….


I was lamenting to Ah bee about it….

“这种男人还为他伤心做什么?如果是我,早就想着怎样花他的钱了。Kekeke”

Looking back still can see ah bee’s “bth” and “bitter” facial expression, he must be thinking im damnz heartless and materialistic. *roLLz eyes*

True mahzzz….this kinda guy is not worth your tears. NOT WORTH. No point getting yourself depressed over guys who are NOT WORTH IT. The guy who is WORTH IT wont get you shedding tears for him.

Suddenly cynical again.

Tossed a ferocious look at ah bee, I issued a warning.

“你阿!!最好对我好好,要不然,我会让你死的好自然好自然! (so that can claim insurance. muahahaha)

Its time he get a policy in my name too le….no other policy wor…must be Section 73 Trust Policy!!

Any difference between all these policies? OF COZ MANZ!!

For other policies, he can always change beneficiaries as and when he like and especially if he got a new gf or remarried.

But for Section 73 Trust Policy….heh heh heh…..the beneficiary can never be changed without the initial beneficiary’s consent. Heh.which means………….if he dumped me and changed a new gf/wife……..and then DIE………the $$$ still goes to me!!! *victory sign*


Now……who is interested in this Section 73 Trust Policy? Ask Me. *winKz*

Hmm……….Tania should get 1……..every wife with a husband should get 1. Hurhurhur!!



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Signed off by Kaori @ 1:00 PM.. |

Monday, December 19, 2005

2:52 AM

NABEH!

NABEH!!

That ah bee given me 3 deep red scratches on my left hand!!!!!

Damnz! Why i always fall in love with guys who like to abuse me!

Whether physically or mentally!!

KAOZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!






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Signed off by Kaori @ 2:52 AM.. |

Saturday, December 17, 2005

10:05 PM

My Ah Beeeeeeeeeeee

The feeling of going completly wireless is fantastic! *wINkz*

Currently sitting on the sofa in the living room accompanying ah bee watching his ballball game, in body of coz. My spirit is elsewhere. =P But hey...at least im there...okie lah...my eyes flickered to the tv whenever all the cheers chorused, not to mention ah bee's agitated emotions and thrilling voice. *rOllZ eyes* Im still considered a good gf right? Muahahaha...actually no lahz...i was intending to ask Ser out de..but she was down with gastric prob so bo bian stay at home and force myself to "act" like a good gf loh. Though i know im not a very good one.

Sometimes im overly concerned bot my own problems and my work till sometimes i neglected my bfs, especially now when im so busy with my work. Today worked till 6pm k? Dono when can i really reach a very very stable stage where i can be less busy but earn much more $$$. kekeke.=P You can say im an ambitious person, i certainly wont mind or care. One should have ambitions isnt it? I love challenges and always yearn to do better and better because i think everyone in life should do better and better and not the reverse. How can you be worse off when you have grown 10yrs older, 10yrs more mature, 10yrs more experience? Its simply don make sense.

And the feeling of having a fantastic guy standing by me to walk my tantamount path...is simply incredible. Thanks ah beeee...........Smuacksssssssss. Thank god he's not 1 who is MCP or a whinny sissy(sorry fab i don mean you..*chuckle*) who always complains about my workaholic and responsible work attitude and last of all, whines about my meagre time which was spent with him. Instead he accompanies me to do watever i like when i finally finished my work, whether is to watch vcd or drown in oily supper...watch movies or shopping....Im very paiseh of coz. I always wanna to do my part to accompany HIM to do things he like..of coz i don mean he don like to do the things we do...but i know he's a sports person...he loves ball games...swimming...jogging...cycling...wateva....

There comes my problem.

I cant run.
I'll melt under the sun and get asthma attack and dieeeeeeeeee.

I cant swim.
I cant swim for more than 5mins without getting heh heh(breathless) and then asthma attack and dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

I can cycle.
But i cant cycle for more than 20minutes without fleeing to a shaded area to rest and admire the blue blue skyyyyyyyyyy.

I love ball games too!! Tennis, badminton, vollyball, basketball.....
If only i can play them as well as i love them....

To think i used to always achieve gold in my nafa...

But that is more than 10years ago in my pri school..... =PPPPPPPPPPPPPP



Oh we both love mahjiong.

But cant expect the both of us to play right?


They say cooking for your partner is an act of love.
Thats why fab always pester me to cook for him out of the blue(even when he's not hungry) SO THAT I CAN SHOW MY LOVE FOR HIM. That's so kiam pah! And damnz bu yao lian lor. I told him this kinda thing, nobody REQUESTS like he do, and that i will do if i feel like it. ANd somehow i never feel like it when im with him. *stuck out tongue*

And sure i cooked for ah bee too just like he cooked supper for me whenever im so deadbeat after my work.

But all i cooked for him is maggie mee, fried ham, fried egg, fried omelette, fried sausage...........making him fatter and fatter and making myself rounder and rounder...

My culinary skills are limited leh.......

Poor ah bee.........................................he's suffering in my hands....


KEKEKEKEKKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKEKKE!!!

Sometimes i love torturing him. Quite bian tai huh~

I love biting him and pinching him. He's so nice to pinch and bite!

*pinch his cheek*

*feeling more and more sadistic*

Muahahahaha


Was lamenting on how tight my finances are lately to my colleagues, Weijie and Irene.
Besides other commitements, me and ah bee started a savings account to do regular savings. XiOng manz!!

Weijie: 我更xiong阿,gf 放多少,我要放double
Me: huh, why leh
Weijie: 因为她有CPF,我没有。PeNGz!
Me & Irene: hahaha
Me: "我make他promise, 如果他负我,全部的钱归我!"
Irene and Weijie: 哇!!!
Weijie: then 如果你负他leh?
Me: 我负他不要紧! Muahahahahah


*stuck out tongueeeeeeeeeee*

我们很辛福, 谢谢大家关心. =D

如果我们breakoff了,一定会公布的。请放心!

=D





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Signed off by Kaori @ 10:05 PM.. |

Friday, December 16, 2005

2:27 AM

Liar Liar!

Seriously, these few days has been so bothered by work. Stress has been accumulating machiam like the ornaments hanging on Xmas trees, getting heavier and heavier. And i always have serious splitting headache whenever im stressed. Its incurable! Yes i take pills, it numbs the ache for awhile but once i get back to work, it pains again! ThIs is no choice but to stop working. Last time when i was an employed, i was sick of visiting the Doc everytime i don feel well just so to get the MC to SHUT THE BLOODY MOUTH of my boss up. NOW that im a self-employed, i don have to get a mc if im not going office but hell.....its the same ordeal...just that i still have to report the status of my health or why my absence in the office, subjected to suspicious questionings.

*Take a deep breath*

Now tell me...if u're not employed and is just a normal being, would you got visit a doc just becoz you got a splitting headache or e.g, muscularache from previous day's rollerblading? YOu still got pills from previous outpatient appointments wor, which you can take.

CommOn You wont right??!!!

If you ARE, then u're damnz SISSY LOR!

NO MC DOESNT MEAN FIT ENUFF TO WORK OK!

DON GO OFFICE DOESNT MEAN IM NOT WORKING OK!

GO OFFICE WORK DOESNT NECESSARILY IS THE BEST EFFICIENT WAY OK!

一讲到就气! Arrgh.....there are still alot to the story la..but i'll just leave it here. No point wasting my time blogging over such IRRITATING ISSUES.

I was hissing to ah bee about this after i got my temper in check,

"你只可以死,不可以病! 就算要病,一定要病到要死那一种!!"

*&^%$#@#$%^&*((*&^%$$%^

Common...its not as if i don work or MC still got pay like that. Still forcing ppl to do things they don wan and no matter they do it ornot, they still have to pay. If do, pay. If don do, pay more.

HAHA~

不知不觉 complain le so much. Paiseh


Oh yah I got something veryyyyyyyy veryyyyyyy mean to add too. Again, i repeat, cant take it don read it...don end up getting mad over reading an entry of mine directed in GENERAL and NOT ANYONE IN PARTICULAR and getting pissed off at me.

I generally don hate liars. Hmm...no..in fact...i don..and i cant hate them at all. Becoz why...if they lied successfully to me, i wouldnt have know wat they have lied and of coz don hate them right?

Wat i cant standdddddddddddddddd is...........

Lousy Liars
They cant even lie properly. Whole face saying "sorry but im lying to you". Might as well don lie right......waste of lousy acting skills and waste of MY time trying to ACT as if CONVINCED.

Dumb Liars
They lied with unknown or incorrect material facts to cover up their ignorance. Donno say donno la...act as if you know and give stoopid, transparent WRONG answers. They think the whole ...sorry, shall stop here.

"Slow" Liars
Their mind reacted not quick enough to weave a proper lie and ended up stuttering instead

"Repeated" Liars
Hoho....first time lie got through...2nd time still use back same reason/tactic.....please remember....paper cant wrap fire~

"Forgetful" Liars
This is the stupidest of all loh. Lie already ownself forget wat she lied. When next time the same topic/object-of-interest comes up, she let the cat out of the bag herself.


*Mind registering different names in different catergory*

Sometimes feel...*donno how to describe* that some frens behave like that.

It may not be a VERY BIG lie. May be a small lie or a redundant lie...but..the moment you lie...just be careful once its blown, you will lose the trust of the party forever. Izzit worth it? Okie...maybe im not worth much..*shrugged*

And please don thick-skinned come and ask me do i trust you after you have lied to me before..Sigh...never blow your cover you think i really gong gong kanna cheat. And no wonder they still can so naturally come ask me this kinda question.

Bth...really bth.

But i never say i don lie hor. Im not perfect, i have flaws and...i do lie too, just that its quite seldom, becoz its diff to spit a lie out of my lips without feeling gouchy, inconfident and uncomfortable. So its rather easy to spot if im lying. Im probably in the "Lousy" Liar Category bah.....

Which are you................HAHAHA....

=P

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Signed off by Kaori @ 2:27 AM.. |

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

1:27 AM

He's just not that into you

Time flies. Yeah its such an old-fashioned starter but its really so true. Time flies. Its almost the end of year. Suddenly have this vision which summarises the whole year's events into a whizzing slideshow, showing all the ups and downs, happiness and depression, ecstasy and sorrow.

Looking back, this is the time which i really recognized myself as being extremely dumb previously by clinging to something which is never realistic. I KNOW its dumb all along, but this time its really i can say to myself "Oh im so dumb back then!".

There will always be a time when you realized your previous mistakes and recognised it with hilarious amazement. You will wonder about things like, "how could I have been so dumb??!!" etc. Actually its not that you did not know about its dumbness and naviete at that point of time. You know it, but you just continue doing it thats all. And holding the thread of hope, hoping that it either snaps right away or else pull you away from misery. Just, hoping for an answer. Yes, does that sound familiar?

Don bother wasting your braincells pondering about why is a He like that, why does He behave like that, why does He treat you like that, etc. Really. Your braincells can do much more valuable things than that. Outsiders always see pictures clearer than insiders. Though its not easy to help as they said "Love is Blind". Don bother finding excuses for him. Don bother giving him time. DOn bother giving him another chance. DOn bother being touched by his words or gifts. Don bother about his replied msgs or calls. Just don bother.

I have a fren who was once so troubled by a change of attitude in her ex-current dating guy. I shant mention who.

"We were going so well...till...suddenly...calls and msgs began to get lesser and lesser....we just meet lesser and lesser...he became excessively busy with his work...his clients....simply no time for me...and he drifted further and further away from me....and i simply dono wat went wrong..."


Symptom #1
Calls and msgs get lesser and lesser

Symptom #2
He became amazingly busy with his work/sch/frens/mother/cat/dog

Symptom #3
He stopped returning your calls or replying your msgs. He always misses them.

Symptom #4
He suddenly have a few "problematic/heartbroken" frens who needed his consolation or else "fussy clients/incompetent colleagues" which demanded his attention at work

Symptom #5
He began to turn up late for appointments or else putting you aeroplanes for reasons like "something just cropped up"

Symptom #6
If he's with you, he's always replying msgs on his mobile, all the time.

Symptom #7
He grew more and more distant and mysterious instead of getting starry-eyed over a dinner with you. Look into his eyes and you'll know he's just not there anymore.

Symptom #8
You started asking yourself for no apparent reason, "wat went wrong??". Although the fact is nothin is wrong, nothin is wrong with you.

Symptom #9
He began encouraging you to widen your social circle and go out with your friends

Symptom #10 (Last)
He simply vanished into thin air~


All these 10 Symptoms....can only fetch 1 deadly, piercing statement.

Face it~

He's just not that into you.


Although i seldom have the heart to say it straight to my troubled frens most of the times. I wonder..should i?




Labels:



Signed off by Kaori @ 1:27 AM.. |

1:27 AM

Time flies

Time flies. Yeah its such an old-fashioned starter but its really so true. Time flies. Its almost the end of year. Suddenly have this vision which summarises the whole year's events into a whizzing slideshow, showing all the ups and downs, happiness and depression, ecstasy and sorrow.

Looking back, it is the time which i really recognized myself as being extremely dumb by clinging to something which is never realistic. I KNOW its dumb all along, but this time its really i can say to myself "Oh im so dumb back then!".

There will always be a time when you realized your previous mistakes and recognised it with hilarious amazement. You will wonder about things like, "how could I have been so dumb??!!" etc. Actually its not that you did not know about its dumbness and naviete at that point of time. You know it, but you just continue doing it thats all. And holding the thread of hope, hoping that it either snaps right away or else pull you away from misery. Just, hoping for an answer. Yes, does that sound familiar?

Labels:



Signed off by Kaori @ 1:27 AM.. |

Monday, December 12, 2005

1:10 AM

Crimson River

I never know changing a fone can be so much of a hassle. Wah kaozzzz.......nevermind that it wasted so much of Ah bee's(Ryo) petrol becoz we're running here and there...checking out M1 and Starhub prices...running back home to retrieve the whole original box of my Panasonic X800 so that i can sell it away to soothe abit of my broken heart after spreeing around $800+ bucks on my current fone, o2 mini. I forgot the aftermath. Which is to read (AGAIN) another fone manual, approximately about few cm thick with god-knows-how-many words. ITS ALL WORDS!!!! I really appreciate some PICTURES. A picture speaks a thousand words. The person who wrote the book must be some freaking nerd, with bottoms of milk bottles as the lens of his specs. =P Ahh Ahh...still have to transfer contacts and notify the whole world that my number is changed and bearing the benefit of the doubt does this xXx person still rems you, still care who the hell are you, still care to keep in touch with you, etc. And lastly, manually input all contacts. Ya yaaaaaaaaaa i know every contact can be done via copying or sychronizing, but becoz o2mini's contacts setup are very elaborate, i wish to define all of it myself....mobile..work tel...work fax..home..email...etc.

And *drumroll*....this time I have 2 asses who return the msg asking which Fion am I. Seriously, its really xtra for me to reply. THey would have know it if they know it. If they don rem it, why should i remind them. I would really preferred to mass all with "Hi...changed number...update...thanks...For those who wonder who the hell i am...pls don bother replying or ask again".

But it seems so rude huh.

So i never. I still replied a sentence each to both of them. IM DAMN XTRA LOR, for the sake of replying. Waste my time. I don like ppl not replying my sms so i always reply my sms unless its reallly reallllyyyy redundant or that the msg ended with a full-stop and not a question mark. Of coz the last reason would be, "Please leave me alone".

*headache headache*

I actually planned to get all my clients' contacts into my fone today.

But its undone.

I planned to get all my appointments and pending tasks into my calenders.

But they're oso undone.


I dono wat i done today.

I only know im "flowing" whole day long.

I only remembered trying first time how to blade at ECP with my bee and his dragonfly.

And that I've changed my undergarments for more than 4times today becoz of the word "STAIN".

Im veryyyyyy veryyyyyyyyy irritated.

Arrrghhhhhhhhhhh

And my mood changes as quick as lightning. Even i myself noticed. A glance at Ryo's tight and bland face confirms my suspicion. Ya im really behaving like a sicko. Awhile im raving that i wan icecream. Awhile im irritated that its not frozen enough. Awhile i wanna watch a vcd by Miriam, awhile im furious that its not around.

Don be mistaken. All the while im not raving or shouting at ah bee okie. Im juz screaming myself and toking to myself...i.e...the vcd booklet...and at the icecream tub.

Thats why when i glanced at ah bee after the outbursts, his green face made me realise im really XXX. I broke into a smile and asked him sweetly which other show he preferred.

I sweared he looked as if he just seen a ghost smile.

Im truly sorry for frightening him like that. Anyway, i can train his guts lah.

Next time see ghost oso wont scared.

=D


Lastly, leave me a msg if i missed informing you my number. There was a hiccup when i lost some contacts via sim card.

Love ya all~



Labels: ,



Signed off by Kaori @ 1:10 AM.. |

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

12:15 AM

I cant take it!!

FInally have some free time to do some surfing and blogging. Not that i got alot to blog about. Things and events whizzed past like rocket. I simply cant turn back to blog about past events. Of coz i can backdate, but if so, then no 真实感 le mah right...but the main reason is....i think most of the previous events i have forgotton...

Sometimes it really scares me...my deteriorating mind...really scared that im the very unique exception of severe dementia which struck young adults. Though mine is rather selective memory. I know its like 1 in a million...but things...very hard to say one mahz...so I have prepared myself le....INSURANCE! In case i kick the bucket, my mother and bros got $$$. *touch wood*

Yesterday was having a very lousy mood. Sigh. Grabbed hold of Weijie and Derec to pinch at work to 发泄. Im 变态 i knowwwwwwwwwww..........but do you know it feels terrible when something is making you...arggghhhhhhhh...........and you cant say out becozzzzzz........it hurts other people in the process.

I oso dono why. Perhaps im sensitive. It has been some time since i last brought up my lesbian friend. I tot it ended. But somehow..lately i got the creeps again. ANd trust me...its really.....unbearable...

I tensed whenever she came near me.

I avoided her eyes whenever she look at me.

I screeched whenever she lowered her volume than usual to murmur softly to me in a normal conversation.

I swear i will JUMP if she touch me.

*sigh*

THIS IS NOT FARNI!

NOT FARNI AT ALL!!


I hope she will be less dependant on me. Though i seldom give her the chance to. Even before this, i always chatised her to be more independant. You know, those kind of....if you really nid the toilet, THEN GO!! You don need me to accompany me to relieve your bladder right??!! Definately no need to wait for my bladder to be full SO THAT we can go pee pee together right?

SOmething like that. I think she hate loneliness. She loves company. Very innocent, pure and playful at heart, who don understand when's the time to get serious and when's the time to do things with priority. ANd most importantly...she don seem to understand somethings are not to be dwelled on or hold on to. THings like ME. She got my meaning very clearly the last time wat. And for quite some time, i think she cooled down. That time, i almost tot she got a new target. Too selfish to care, i juz bo chup and murmured "God Bless". What can i do right?

It was peaceful...till...these few days. Weird. Humans are very sensitive creatures. You can just feel it. Let's juz exclude the guys. Some guys are simply blockheads.... But females...or rather me...Im very very sensitive, to some things. Especially feelings wise. Donno its a good thing or a bad thing.

I think i can do nothing except to avoid her for the time being.

That 眼神...that 语气....ohhhhhhhhhhhhh..................i cant take itttttttt.........!!!





Labels:



Signed off by Kaori @ 12:15 AM.. |

Thursday, December 01, 2005

4:02 AM

Howwwww????????

It may sound silly to you.

But I think it feels great to see people being pleased with a gift you gave, even without knowing its from you.

Its Dec already. TIme flies, don you think? SOon we will be welcoming Xmas. HmmMmm....haven thought of wat to wear for this yr's Xmas...but i have already spent SO MUCH on limited edition cosmetics sets plus a million more things..like bags..clothes...facial mask...etc! Looking at bank statement really sad siah. WOnder how will this year Xmas be....im getting more and more boring and unhappening as i get older. =( ANd aging ever so quicky. SOmehow the f*ck face is always so dry when it used to be oily. I only need a few daps each day with the oil-blot tissue now. But i gotta apply so many damnz things to moisturise the same f*ck face before putting on powder. Otherwise...the powder will just drop drop drop........


Kaozz!!

Cant imagine if this carries on!!

*start to worry*

ze mer bannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn



Labels:



Signed off by Kaori @ 4:02 AM.. |

me.myself

Im Fion. Not Fiona, I positively loathe people calling me that. Im a leo, a true leo with a flair for indulgence and royal treatment. Nothing can be too good for me and same to you. Born on 9th Aug and has survived past a quart of a century. Straight-forward, sassy and very sentimental. Can be the most passionate lover, most loyal friend. Yet the most "chilly" and mean person if any1 crosses me. The 2 most important people to me right now is my mummy and my dearie. Mummy cooks the best dishes in the world. Dearie loves me to bits and pampers me like a princess. Vickki is my darling puppy, a Shih-tzu borned on 8th Jun 2007. Love her to bits. Love Holidays, reading, blogging, movies, chilling, shopping, singing, dancing and mahjiong. Appreciates lychee martinis, long island iced tea and red wine. Fave colours are bronze, gold, white, purple, pink, yellow and apple green Loathe selfish, rude and people who think they can take ppl for granted Like rain and melts in the sun, will die without aircon Generally, love life and living it every moment!


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